Anabel Parra
2/4/2023
Essay 2 Outline
Professor Syaylor
Was it really Rape or Fun Sex
Now a days there are so many cases of sexual such as rape acusation. There is over
463,000 rape victims in America year.Usully young Americans are at the highest risk for sexual
violence. And 90% of adult rape victims are women it is not normal to hear that a mand had been
raped. I believe that it may be that it is just not being reported as normal as a woman. This paper
will be about two young adults who are currently in college and it happened to be that there was
a spark and they had a night of sexual interaction. It seems to be that one of the sexual interaction
people was not in full consent mode and it all seems to go downhill from there for the two fresh
college students. I am talking about Amber positioning herself in a non-consent sexual position.
We will be talking about Tom and Amber. Was this Sexull interaction consented? Is there
an argument that there was no consent? I would like to say that both Tom and Amber
personalities show who they are and how they can be and I would like to say that one person did
not speak up where she needed to. Amber seems to be a person who likes to please people and it
is hard for her to say “NO”. It is very important to say no when you're not in a position you
don’t want to be in even if it is last minute. I think also Amber thought she wanted to do
something because she was feeling a spark and it made her feel confident but at the end of the
day she felt used and that is how she ended up in the position she is currently in.
Getting to know both Toms and Amber's cultural background from the beginning, it is
very clear that Amber comes from a privileged background. Amber is Jewish and shows to be
very confident. The way she speaks and comes off seems to be very laid back and also Amber
does not care to step on people’s toes. She will do anything to make herself look good because
Amber has self esteem issues. And on the other hand we have Tom where he is a very genuine
person and is starting a new journey as well as Amanda. Tom is an appling young man that
seems to be confident but he also shows vulnerability. Tom is African American and came ready
for the judgment that he did not think he would get so soon to go to college.
When looking into the many ways that Amber placed herself in the situation she was in,
it made me think that she was not thinking much of the consequences that could have happened.
Amber started to flirt with Tom with a question game and told Tom flirting “do you want me to
come with you Tonight?” In exchange she wanted Tom to answer her question from the game.
Both Tom and Amber started to feel a connection and I would like to say that Amber believed
something completely different then what Tom was feeling.Amber felt like she was being seen
by someone. She felt like Tom was the greatest guy and she was amazed. Tom opened up to
Amber of some of the struggles he was going through. He did not give all the details but he did
have a conversation with Amber. He opened up about his culture. Tom actually made some
judgments that perhaps he did not need to do so. Tom could have been a very rude guy and just
left. He did not have to hear Amber telling him he was some kind of privilege because he was
African American.
Amber made a series of judgments when she was drinking with Tom. And those
Judgments lead to consequences that result in a lot of damage.Amber accused Tom of having non
consensual sex the night that they were both drinking alcohol. From Amber's perspective it
seems that she did not enjoy any of the process of where the flirting took her and Tom to. In
reality there was no verbal consent saying “it is okay to have sex together” but they both seem to
be enjoying the night and they both agreed to leave the party and be together. Amber had even
suggested this when Tom and Amber were playing the question game. Amber said "do you want
me to come with you Tonight?”. I could say that Tom was not thinking of getting into bed with
Amber until Amber and him had a great time. It came to a point where Tom and Amber were at
the party and Amber took off her shirt in front of everyone. Amber said she wanted to cheer Tom
up but that is not the way to do that you don't take off your shirt in in front of everyone at the
party. If I would have been in Tom’s shoes I would have thought the same thing Amber wants to
have sex let’s get out of this party. When amber was acuusing Tom of rape people that where at
the party mentioned that they seen Amber and “everyone agrees that earlier that night you took
your shirt off. That you drank to excess. That you very willingly went back to Tom’s room and
got into his bed.” This was making it seem that Amber just want to blame someone and the first
opportunity she got she blamed Tom. The office of their school said these “Which makes me
wonder: why do you think these actions that you admit you freely took don’t amount to some
kind of tacit consent?” And the pane with all this evidence Amber was still saying that she was
rape and that there was no concent. This could be a tricky situation Amanda had her own feelings
that were affecting her.
Tom was accused of Rapeing Amber. He was in complete shock when he was told
this. Tom had thought that everything was okay because they had just talked after having
sex. Tom never expected to be in this situation. A statement was placed and it said “Tom
makes his statement. He’s like a.) we were drunk and b.) I would never rape someone. He
can’t even say “rape” – he takes this enormous pause before he says it like there’s
something in his mouth that’s causing”. The way that he reacts is very genuine and
concerned. Compared to Amber she seems to act like she has all the power and is not
caring for what could happen to Tom. Tom criticizes himself for doing something that he
believed was okay; he did not see it as rape.Tom said “That’s the thing that I… I mean, I
thought… Deep down, I thought I was a nice guy.”PG. 48. Amber was jealous of Tom
because he was being seen Amber said to Tom “It’s a privilege to have everyone always
looking at you? Is that right, No one ever looks at me. So yeah. I think it is.”PG.46”
Amber Self esteem was not in a good place and seems to show at the end of the play she
expresses all of what she was feeling. But it sucks that she had to go to great lengths to
accuse Tom of rape and cause him to have long term consequences.
In conclusion we have learned that the cultural background can be very damaging in the
long run if a person is being accused wrongfully. We went ahead and reviewed and got a glimpse
of the main events. And we also got to see both judgments and consequences from both Tom and
Amber. I believe that Tom should have never been accused of sexual assault. They both knew
what they were doing and they were both drinking. I would like to say that in this case Amber
has self esteem issues and she needed to point her feelings towards someone and that one person
happened to be Tom. Tom could have taken extra precaution and knew that there was to be not
only emotional consent but also verbal consent. All in all I would like to strongly communicate
that having consent is very critical even when you least expect it.
